Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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