thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
