Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
