you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
