Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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