I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
