I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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