he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
