I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
