I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
