girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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