Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
