If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
