Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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