End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize