belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
