I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have feelings that need drinking.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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