member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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