I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize