well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
