Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
