Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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