Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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