Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Randomize
