One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize