I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
