You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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