I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
