I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
