I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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