ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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