do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
