Where is the hickey?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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