brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
