Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
