I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
