Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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