i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I will be naked everywhere
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
