I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Randomize
