just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
birth control should be required to get into college
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just invented taco cereal.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
