I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
