Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
