ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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