I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
my poor anus
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
