I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
