discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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