: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
