I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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