Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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