Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
