we're blogging at a bar
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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