So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
