OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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