it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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