No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize