i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
