I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
