im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
