My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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