Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
