that's an acceptable place to lick
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
