In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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