I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
